Well, I've also had more favorable experiences with other guys, including this weekend. Typically, there's been good/appropriate leading/following happening on both sides. Just like a female follow smoothly hijacks, I expect a male follow to do the same (roughly) if they attempt anything. I must note that this wasn't with an exceptional/fantastic lindy hopper, but just a person who tends to think he is.

I haven't sifted through the whole thread, but this is probably worth repeating. DISCLAIMER: I know these apply to women, too ;)

1. I find when guys follow lindy, they'll take the slightest movement for a lead and go with it. Wherever they think it was going.

FIX: Feel a slightly weighted connection all the way through a lead because the lead never really stops. It's not like - wait, feel lead, GO! It's - ideally - a smooth continuous connection that you need to match tensions and relaaaaaaax. That way you are not thinking i.e. anticipating ( shive ) where to go or what to do; you react at the split second a lead is given no matter what beat or which direction. Continue this tension between hands through the entire turn as opposed to immediately feeling a "turn lead" and spinning around. That's like you're thinking, ok, followed that, what's next? Leads don't always want you to turn fast, or sometimes they want you to turn REALLY fast, or sometimes change it up etc. As you know being leads ;) But it is different to suddenly be following such split second musical choices of someone else when you're used to making those decisions. TRUST your lead :) --At least this is what I try to do and what sort of connection I like with my favorite leads.

1. I find when guys follow blues, they'll do the same thing with an addition. They over body roll! Many times I've lead a guy in blues and stopped movement for a pause or if they're overdoing something and I want to calm down their following anxiety. Often times if I stop, they will keep moving on their own, esp. in a wiggling/body roll fashion when I'm not even leading that. Guys will also feel what they think is a body roll lead and do one on their own; what this does is take their weight away from my hand on their back, and that breaks a vital connection/lead area.

FIX: Relax about half of your weight into either the hand that's holding yours and/or the one that's on your back, and when you feel a lead, don't guess - follow what the hand's weight shift/placement/full body weight change tell you to do; move when moved. Do not roll or even tilt your torso/hips if not lead to do so. Sure you can sometimes throw something in for styling if the song inspires it, but not all the time (takes away from the lead/follow connection, the sharedness of partner dancing). ALSO FIX: Even if you do only move when moved, do not completely loose your backbone. Sometimes when I lead a guy in blues, I'll lead something and wonder if he suddenly turned to jello; there's no control in that either. Even if he just follows what I lead, sometimes he overdoes it...which would be easier to show in person, but underlying rule of thumb - maintain your own center, as well as aspire to connect with the center of your partner. That should keep your core stable enough to not become floppy but relaxed enough to stay in tune with what's being lead. Learn not to anticipate. It's hard, but dancing can become more shared and intuitive that way.

Oh yeah, and BREATHE! Keep breathing. I know it's tough when concentrating so had on something, but keep breathing steadily.