Okay, I've had enough with the chocolate covered BS of a dance community I have been involved with. In AA, they say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Well, I have been involved with the perverse afterparty crap long enough. I am saying right here and right now that I do not…
Originally posted Wednesday, January 21, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "SwingKid570" While a senior in Catholic high school, I was dancing rather close with my prom date when a nun wandered by with that advice. I simply whispered into my date's oh so delictable ear, "Let the Holy Ghost find his own damn dance partner."
:lol: :lol:
OMG I am SO using that on one of our local dancers that says you have to "leave space for the Lord!!" when you dance.
Originally posted Wednesday, January 21, 2004 (7 years ago)
I would like to point out that perspective has A LOT to do with this discussion. Sensuality & Sexuality are both determined by the eye of the beholder. Some people can have a very "connected blues dance" and never have any sexual thought cross their mind, and some people can't.
And to answer the question about why Blues dancing has developed a bad rep... Simply:
It looks a lot worse than it is.
Also, there are plenty of creepy guys (& girls) out there who don't make respect the "Blues Prime Directive". That also gives it a bad rep.
Grinding doesn't equal blues, but sometimes hip gyration can.
Originally posted Wednesday, January 21, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "Captain Morgan" Grinding doesn't equal blues, but sometimes hip gyration can.
I don't know.
Maybe it's because I'm reading it and not visualizing it, or maybe I'm thinking of a slightly different kind of move. But I don't think this statement is correct.
The only major difference between HG and grinding is the circular movement as opposed to back/forth.
Perhaps you're talking about the musicality and timing of the move fitting into a blues dance, but I'd still say there are other ways to accentuate the musicality without giving the wrong idea.
I'm trying to be open to what you're saying CM, but it kinda sounds to me like that statement is similar to using a line to get out of a speeding ticket... or rather for moving too fast.
Originally posted Wednesday, January 21, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "julius"
Quoted from "Captain Morgan"
And to answer the question about why Blues dancing has developed a bad rep... Simply: It looks a lot worse than it is.
Maybe it should start looking better.
See, that's the thing... some of us don't think it looks that bad.
The dance in and of itself is nothing... if people project their own interpretations onto it, that's them, right? As has been said by other folks, there are folks who manage to keep the sensualness of the dance separate from and feelings of sexuality or attractiveness.
That's my fancy way of saying the problem isn't the dance, it's the people.
Tina 8)
bluesSHOUT! 2010 is coming to Austin!
http://www.bluesshout.com
Favorite Tim Tebow-ism: Jesus opens presents on Tim Tebow's birthday. :)
Originally posted Wednesday, January 21, 2004 (7 years ago)
Alligator: I think you should see what I'm talking about... it is very different then grinding.
When I teach blues, sometimes I pull the guys aside and give a bit of a speach:
"Some girls don't like dancing with a tripod, so don't get wood. There are only two ways to get wood: 1) Friction/rubbing, which won't be tought or shown here. 2) Thoughts, so don't think about sex!!!"
Gatorgal: I agree, I think that it can look very graceful... but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
But it goes back to: "Do what you like, and promote that."
Originally posted Wednesday, January 21, 2004 (7 years ago)
Don't think about sex
Don't think about sex
Don't think about sex
Don't think about sex
Don't think about sex
Don't think about sex
Don't think about sex
Don't think about sex
Don't think about sex
Don't think about sex
Don't think about sex
Originally posted Wednesday, January 21, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "Captain Morgan" Alligator: I think you should see what I'm talking about... it is very different then grinding.
CM, I have an idea what it's about. I had two thoughts on what you meant. One is slightly better than the other... but I'd still question that move.
I love blues dancing... and I even love some of the stuff it can lead to. I'm sure some people can vouch for me on it. :)
But I have witnessed certain people's dances and actions from time to time and I have to agree with Julius's last statement.
Quoted from "Captain Morgan" And to answer the question about why Blues dancing has developed a bad rep... Simply: It looks a lot worse than it is.
Quoted from "Julius" Maybe it should start looking better.
One main example of someone who leads blues beautifully is Ogden. Another is Damon. I don't think anyone really thinks anything differently when they witness their dancing. I haven't seen either of them out at National events recently, but I suggest anyone who has questions on dancing to blues should check those two out.
Quote When I teach blues, sometimes I pull the guys aside and give a bit of a speach:
"Some girls don't like dancing with a tripod, so don't get wood. There are only two ways to get wood: 1) Friction/rubbing, which won't be tought or shown here. 2) Thoughts, so don't think about sex!!!"
That leads me to believe you already dance too close to a girl. You might as well think baseball while you're dancing.
The actual dance can be sensual and even sexual, but it's supposed to have a bit more romance involved. Chances are if you're getting wood, you probably need to back off, not think different thoughts.
I find that the best connection in blues dancing comes from the girl pressing her back on the leads right hand. From counterbalance. Not from pressure in the groin area.
Quote But it goes back to: "Do what you like, and promote that."
See that's the problem I see. Some of your posts promote the 'after-party' aspects, not the dance. Maybe I'm reading a little too inbetween the lines when you post, but when you post about blues dancing being graceful and not as bad as it looks, it just sounds like a line to justify the after parties and the hooking up.
I don't have that much of a problem with the after-parties other than the fact that they get in the public spotlight a little too much and that some people promote their libido with such candor online. You may say 'go to what you want to go to,' but it's easier said than done when some people constantly promote the debauchery.
I just think that the 'after-party' aspects shouldn't be promoted so publicly. Because it may be more fun in some ways, but it does give the actual dance a bad rep.
Originally posted Wednesday, January 21, 2004 (7 years ago)
One last thing, sorry if looks like I'm pickin on you.
Quoted from "Captain Morgan" It's simple...
Afternoon Dance = Lindy & Bal
Main Dance = Lindy & Bal
Late night = Groove, slow Lindy, Blues
After Party = Well, just that... Party (and whatever shenanigans comes with it).
You go to what you want.
Although I haven't gone in the past two years, I love it when Jesse DJ's the late night cabin at SONH. He knows how to keep people up (no wood joke intended.) Constant slow lindy/Groove/Blues all night long makes people sleepy. Jesse is great at knowing when people need a good fast lindy or Bal set to interject a crowd.
AND you don't need a blues chaser for an after party with shenanigans. Just ask the LA crowd.
Originally posted Wednesday, January 21, 2004 (7 years ago)
Man, what a freaking great post Wheres My Gravy.
My acid test for blues dancing is, Would it be ok if my mom saw me doing this? If the answer is no, then I think a line has been crossed.
From what I ve noticed a lot of the self proclaimed blues experts really look like crap when they dance blues. Often they are perfectly good lindy dancers, some are even nationally recognized, so maybe this makes them think that there blues is just as good. Sorry, it s not, and often times it s damn creepy. The problem is that nobody ever says anything to them, especially if they re an established dancer in other respects. To me dancing is as much about how it looks as how it feels. If it s not aesthetically pleasing to those watching you, then please, go do it in private.
I like blues dancing, I think I m ok at it, and I hope to god I ve never made a girl feel uncomfortable while I was dancing with her. If I want to rub my wang up against someone, I ll do it off the dance floor, in private, with their consent.
On a side note, my mom is actually a part of my lindy scene, so I make a very conscious effort to behave on the dance floor.
Oh and don t even get me started on threesome/foursome blues dances. I have yet to see one of those look good.
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
I totally agree with the statements about the line being crossed if you "don't want your mom/girlfriend to see it." When I'm monogamous with someone, I always leave some space between my follow and I when we blues dance. Even with leaving room for the Holy Ghost, I don't think blues dancing would pass muster at a Wheaton College Dance. I think one can find their kind of dancing in any lindy exchange. Not everybody's out there with a mindset to bump and grind and hook up later. Seek out the like-minded people and have fun.
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
Just wondering as someone who's been monitoring the conversation here and occasionally posted...
Have any women besides myself and Martini Slayer posted recently? I'm seeing lots of comments from the fellas but nothing from the ladies. Would love to see more comments from follows on the course the discussion is taking.
I would comment, but I've had a rather lengthy post on my position on it already. I'm sure everyone's tired of my opinion. :)
Tina 8)
bluesSHOUT! 2010 is coming to Austin!
http://www.bluesshout.com
Favorite Tim Tebow-ism: Jesus opens presents on Tim Tebow's birthday. :)
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
8) OK, Tina- I hope to always be considered a lady, so that's probably
'nuff said about my opinion on the subject. :wink:
Likewise if the leads will consider themselves gentlemen, there should be no need for wondering if the dancing is appropriate or not. Dance should be dance, not sex. I've had some very sensual dances with some very wonderful leads, but never got "mixed signals" about whether the dance was more than that or not. If I had a problem I'd ask directly or try to be subtle in letting the lead know I thought he'd crossed a line. If that didn't work, I'd cross him off of my list of people to dance with.
Life's too short to drink bad wine or waste dances on inconsiderate or creepy leaders! :sayno:
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.
-Anatole France
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
I ain t no lady and I like to blues. Notice I said blues, not hook up. I think some folks fail to make that distinction and as someone who s in a long-term relationship, that s a problem. I understand that bluesing with someone can get pretty heated and I hate to get boys hopes up so I usually try to mention the SO if I think there s some confusion. The reactions I get to that reference are priceless I ve gotten guilty jumps with an abrupt end to the conversation and the guy turning tail and running but I ve also gotten no reaction whatsoever. There are guys out there (like excess) who re perfectly happy dancing close with someone who s taken but others won t, either because they don t want to waste their time or they re worried about my SO s reaction, I don t know.
And can say, however, that after the last exchange I went to with an official blues room, I m pretty turned-off to that idea. Basically, about twenty people went in there and humped all night. Every few songs two pairs would swap partners but that was it. I wanted to blues but I wasn t interested in, what looked suspiciously to me like, foreplay. I much prefera mild slow-down in the late night. I can still blues to the slower songs and regular dance etiquette applies so nobody monopolizes, or is monopolized, for several songs.
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
I've been keeping my mouth shut for awhile here, but had to post after an experience that I had recently. For those of you who know me, you know I like me some blues dancing. I like the way it's quiet, and you can focus on lead/follow and the music. And it can be really funny and zen and lovely and yeah, sensual, but sensual as in it sharpens the senses, not as in I want to take your clothes off and defile you. I both lead and follow, and it is my intention always that I am dancing, not prepping a hook-up- and I've assumed that anyone I am dancing with is going into it with the same intention. (Call me crazy!) So the other night I was dancing with someone I had just met and we had a couple dances when he brought it in bluesy, I was all for it, until I had this overwhelming claustrophobic feeling. He was actually pressing his entire body against mine in a sort of high-schoolish cop-a-feel-at-the-prom sort of way.
sigh I don't think I am adding anything new to this discussion, but basically I think genital/genital contact (even through clothes!) crosses a line. If you want me to dance close, I am happy to ride your leg. Just ask Eric-J.
And I am also happy to dance with Erica anytime and I don't care if she has a boyfriend.
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "Alligator" One last thing, sorry if looks like I'm pickin on you.
Quoted from "Captain Morgan" It's simple...
Afternoon Dance = Lindy & Bal
Main Dance = Lindy & Bal
Late night = Groove, slow Lindy, Blues
After Party = Well, just that... Party (and whatever shenanigans comes with it).
You go to what you want.
Constant slow lindy/Groove/Blues all night long makes people sleepy.
If the late night DJ is bad, then people will get drousy, but a good blues/groove DJ will be able to keep the tempo low and the energy high. That is actually a really good test of a late night DJ...
Oh and Jesse is a frigging awesome late night/ any night DJ!!!
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "Erica" I ain t no lady and I like to blues. Notice I said blues, not hook up. I think some folks fail to make that distinction and as someone who s in a long-term relationship, that s a problem. I understand that bluesing with someone can get pretty heated and I hate to get boys hopes up so I usually try to mention the SO if I think there s some confusion. The reactions I get to that reference are priceless I ve gotten guilty jumps with an abrupt end to the conversation and the guy turning tail and running but I ve also gotten no reaction whatsoever. There are guys out there (like excess) who re perfectly happy dancing close with someone who s taken but others won t, either because they don t want to waste their time or they re worried about my SO s reaction, I don t know.
And can say, however, that after the last exchange I went to with an official blues room, I m pretty turned-off to that idea. Basically, about twenty people went in there and humped all night. Every few songs two pairs would swap partners but that was it. I wanted to blues but I wasn t interested in, what looked suspiciously to me like, foreplay. I much prefera mild slow-down in the late night. I can still blues to the slower songs and regular dance etiquette applies so nobody monopolizes, or is monopolized, for several songs.
AMEN!
The distinction between blues and hook up is very important! I'm not saying I don't hook up... just that hookups should be off the floor.
"What happens on the dance floor, stays on the dance floor."
I like your comment on the blues room. This is why I am not a big fan of the sparate rooms. Like I said before, an exchange has two to three dances a day/night... make them different.
One of my deffinitions of a Bad exchange is one that all the dances seem the same. (especially in regards to the music styles)
P.S. Erica: I have an increadably fond memory of a blues dance with you at the Barbara Morrison event last year in Denver to the song "Don't Touch Me." Thought is very fitting to your post. ;)
You ROCK as a dancer, not to mention your awesome blues!
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "gatorgal" Just wondering as someone who's been monitoring the conversation here and occasionally posted...
Have any women besides myself and Martini Slayer posted recently? I'm seeing lots of comments from the fellas but nothing from the ladies. Would love to see more comments from follows on the course the discussion is taking.
I would comment, but I've had a rather lengthy post on my position on it already. I'm sure everyone's tired of my opinion. :)
Tina 8)
Thanks Tina! :) I think there are some women out there, apprehensive about posting their opinions for fear of getting beat up or chewed out by the trouble makers....
Erica! Your post ROCKS!!! These are the very stories I hear about late night happenings... And like I said time and time again.... Not that I would not go.... I just would not go into a room like that without a S.O..... I was very much looking foward to going with my now ex "LWS" ... Who was also an awesome blues dancer and even though we were "grinding" off the floor.... He didn't need to do so on the floor to get my attention. 8)
Also for the record... I have danced blues with Captain Morgan and I did not feel creeped out or impossed upon at all!!... He's an AWESOME blues leader. ...... And I'd do it again!! :P
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "Captain Morgan" P.S. Erica: I have an increadably fond memory of a blues dance with you at the Barbara Morrison event last year in Denver to the song "Don't Touch Me." Thought is very fitting to your post. ;)
You ROCK as a dancer, not to mention your awesome blues!
Umm... check her location.. wrong Erica. You're talking about Princess5342, in Denver.
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "mousethief"
Quoted from "laughingcat" or if you see something you don't like, just leave!! get out of there quick!! but don't try to dictate what other people should do. personally, i've seen a bit of blues dancing that just made me cringe. however, it's not my place to go stand over that person and wag my finger at them. it's no one's place. we really don't need a "lindy/blues vice squad"!
What if it's a bunch of shirtless men and women that effectively stopped the dance, like it was a birthday jam?
What about that?
Kalman
umm.. it WAS a birthday jam, and my bikini shows more skin than my bra; not to mention those belly dancing showcases ive seen at exchanges and comps. im sure you run screaming from those, eh?
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
I've often wondered why some women would rather be seen in public in a bikini than their underwear when the bikini shows more usually than the underwear. Curious, but way off topic.
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "dancer2k2"
Quoted from "mousethief"
Quoted from "laughingcat" or if you see something you don't like, just leave!! get out of there quick!! but don't try to dictate what other people should do. personally, i've seen a bit of blues dancing that just made me cringe. however, it's not my place to go stand over that person and wag my finger at them. it's no one's place. we really don't need a "lindy/blues vice squad"!
What if it's a bunch of shirtless men and women that effectively stopped the dance, like it was a birthday jam?
What about that?
Kalman
umm.. it WAS a birthday jam, and my bikini shows more skin than my bra; not to mention those belly dancing showcases ive seen at exchanges and comps. im sure you run screaming from those, eh?
Wow. So having a birthday jam means you can hijack an event held at a fraternal lodge, strip your tops off and make the entire body of dancers watch you all get off? Have some courtesy, unless this is the sort of behavior you encourage at any public event, just because it's someone's birthday.
Belly dancing and 20s charleston performances are actually scheduled, yo. And even so, they often drag on and on and on.
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "Captain Morgan" If the late night DJ is bad, then people will get drousy, but a good blues/groove DJ will be able to keep the tempo low and the energy high. That is actually a really good test of a late night DJ...
Oh and Jesse is a frigging awesome late night/ any night DJ!!!
If the DJ is bad, it doesn't matter WHAT he's playing.
Regardless, you put an exchange formula that I think is too strict due to your specific preferences. I share most of the same musical tastes as you do, but I still feel the need and understand that 4-5 hours of slow tempo will put people to sleep unless you mix it up with some faster music to get people's blood flowing out of their genital areas and back to their other extremities.
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
Quoted from "Martini Slayer" Not that I would not go.... I just would not go into a room like that without a S.O..... I was very much looking foward to going with my now ex "LWS" ... Who was also an awesome blues dancer and even though we were "grinding" off the floor.... He didn't need to do so on the floor to get my attention. 8)
Also for the record... I have danced blues with Captain Morgan and I did not feel creeped out or impossed upon at all!!... He's an AWESOME blues leader. ...... And I'd do it again!! :P
Originally posted Thursday, January 22, 2004 (7 years ago)
so we have....
the dance.
how the people dancing the dance feel about it.
what it looks like.
what people watching imaging what the people dancing the dance feel about it.
some blues is fun to watch, some blues is not. the quality of the dance is not determined by how it looks. one style of dance is about really small movements. it is boring to watch, but awsome to be in, and its not about humping and groping. its about leading and following in a very subtle way to the music.
lilieblue...i can not speak to the experience you had recently because i was obviously not involved, but i will use this as a time to say that people have diffrent comfort zones. more often than not incidents like the one you had are caused by a diffrence in the couples comfort zone, instead of something creepy. simply noting to your partner that you are uncomfortable with the closeness with that person is all it should take. if it then persists, well then that is something else. on the other side one should never assume that your partner will be comfortable dancing with you that close, even if that person does it with others.
Tired of being an X-Rated Swinger? Post here!!!
Okay, I've had enough with the chocolate covered BS of a dance community I have been involved with. In AA, they say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Well, I have been involved with the perverse afterparty crap long enough. I am saying right here and right now that I do not…
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:lol: :lol:
OMG I am SO using that on one of our local dancers that says you have to "leave space for the Lord!!" when you dance.
I would like to point out that perspective has A LOT to do with this discussion. Sensuality & Sexuality are both determined by the eye of the beholder. Some people can have a very "connected blues dance" and never have any sexual thought cross their mind, and some people can't.
And to answer the question about why Blues dancing has developed a bad rep... Simply:
It looks a lot worse than it is.
Also, there are plenty of creepy guys (& girls) out there who don't make respect the "Blues Prime Directive". That also gives it a bad rep.
Grinding doesn't equal blues, but sometimes hip gyration can.
I don't know.
Maybe it's because I'm reading it and not visualizing it, or maybe I'm thinking of a slightly different kind of move. But I don't think this statement is correct.
The only major difference between HG and grinding is the circular movement as opposed to back/forth.
Perhaps you're talking about the musicality and timing of the move fitting into a blues dance, but I'd still say there are other ways to accentuate the musicality without giving the wrong idea.
I'm trying to be open to what you're saying CM, but it kinda sounds to me like that statement is similar to using a line to get out of a speeding ticket... or rather for moving too fast.
http://g4tv.com/attackoftheshow
Personally I think sex can be very sexual and sometimes even sexy. And blues dancing has a real bluesy, danceable feel to it.
But that's just me.
bill66man
Maybe it should start looking better.
See, that's the thing... some of us don't think it looks that bad.
The dance in and of itself is nothing... if people project their own interpretations onto it, that's them, right? As has been said by other folks, there are folks who manage to keep the sensualness of the dance separate from and feelings of sexuality or attractiveness.
That's my fancy way of saying the problem isn't the dance, it's the people.
Tina 8)
bluesSHOUT! 2010 is coming to Austin! http://www.bluesshout.com Favorite Tim Tebow-ism: Jesus opens presents on Tim Tebow's birthday. :)
Alligator: I think you should see what I'm talking about... it is very different then grinding.
When I teach blues, sometimes I pull the guys aside and give a bit of a speach: "Some girls don't like dancing with a tripod, so don't get wood. There are only two ways to get wood: 1) Friction/rubbing, which won't be tought or shown here. 2) Thoughts, so don't think about sex!!!"
Gatorgal: I agree, I think that it can look very graceful... but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
But it goes back to: "Do what you like, and promote that."
Don't think about sex Don't think about sex Don't think about sex Don't think about sex Don't think about sex Don't think about sex Don't think about sex Don't think about sex Don't think about sex Don't think about sex Don't think about sex
CM, I have an idea what it's about. I had two thoughts on what you meant. One is slightly better than the other... but I'd still question that move.
I love blues dancing... and I even love some of the stuff it can lead to. I'm sure some people can vouch for me on it. :)
But I have witnessed certain people's dances and actions from time to time and I have to agree with Julius's last statement.
One main example of someone who leads blues beautifully is Ogden. Another is Damon. I don't think anyone really thinks anything differently when they witness their dancing. I haven't seen either of them out at National events recently, but I suggest anyone who has questions on dancing to blues should check those two out.
That leads me to believe you already dance too close to a girl. You might as well think baseball while you're dancing.
The actual dance can be sensual and even sexual, but it's supposed to have a bit more romance involved. Chances are if you're getting wood, you probably need to back off, not think different thoughts.
I find that the best connection in blues dancing comes from the girl pressing her back on the leads right hand. From counterbalance. Not from pressure in the groin area.
See that's the problem I see. Some of your posts promote the 'after-party' aspects, not the dance. Maybe I'm reading a little too inbetween the lines when you post, but when you post about blues dancing being graceful and not as bad as it looks, it just sounds like a line to justify the after parties and the hooking up.
I don't have that much of a problem with the after-parties other than the fact that they get in the public spotlight a little too much and that some people promote their libido with such candor online. You may say 'go to what you want to go to,' but it's easier said than done when some people constantly promote the debauchery.
I just think that the 'after-party' aspects shouldn't be promoted so publicly. Because it may be more fun in some ways, but it does give the actual dance a bad rep.
http://g4tv.com/attackoftheshow
"I went to an orgy the other night and some blues dancing broke out."
Sorry, couldn't resist the paraphase of the old "Fight/Hockey" statement.
Damon and Ogden are my heroes!!!!!
One last thing, sorry if looks like I'm pickin on you.
Although I haven't gone in the past two years, I love it when Jesse DJ's the late night cabin at SONH. He knows how to keep people up (no wood joke intended.) Constant slow lindy/Groove/Blues all night long makes people sleepy. Jesse is great at knowing when people need a good fast lindy or Bal set to interject a crowd.
AND you don't need a blues chaser for an after party with shenanigans. Just ask the LA crowd.
http://g4tv.com/attackoftheshow
Man, what a freaking great post Wheres My Gravy.
My acid test for blues dancing is, Would it be ok if my mom saw me doing this? If the answer is no, then I think a line has been crossed.
From what I ve noticed a lot of the self proclaimed blues experts really look like crap when they dance blues. Often they are perfectly good lindy dancers, some are even nationally recognized, so maybe this makes them think that there blues is just as good. Sorry, it s not, and often times it s damn creepy. The problem is that nobody ever says anything to them, especially if they re an established dancer in other respects. To me dancing is as much about how it looks as how it feels. If it s not aesthetically pleasing to those watching you, then please, go do it in private.
I like blues dancing, I think I m ok at it, and I hope to god I ve never made a girl feel uncomfortable while I was dancing with her. If I want to rub my wang up against someone, I ll do it off the dance floor, in private, with their consent.
On a side note, my mom is actually a part of my lindy scene, so I make a very conscious effort to behave on the dance floor.
Oh and don t even get me started on threesome/foursome blues dances. I have yet to see one of those look good.
arthur
I totally agree with the statements about the line being crossed if you "don't want your mom/girlfriend to see it." When I'm monogamous with someone, I always leave some space between my follow and I when we blues dance. Even with leaving room for the Holy Ghost, I don't think blues dancing would pass muster at a Wheaton College Dance. I think one can find their kind of dancing in any lindy exchange. Not everybody's out there with a mindset to bump and grind and hook up later. Seek out the like-minded people and have fun.
Just wondering as someone who's been monitoring the conversation here and occasionally posted...
Have any women besides myself and Martini Slayer posted recently? I'm seeing lots of comments from the fellas but nothing from the ladies. Would love to see more comments from follows on the course the discussion is taking.
I would comment, but I've had a rather lengthy post on my position on it already. I'm sure everyone's tired of my opinion. :)
Tina 8)
bluesSHOUT! 2010 is coming to Austin! http://www.bluesshout.com Favorite Tim Tebow-ism: Jesus opens presents on Tim Tebow's birthday. :)
Thank you for saying that! I think it looks utterly ridiculous! (and kind of creepy)
8) OK, Tina- I hope to always be considered a lady, so that's probably 'nuff said about my opinion on the subject. :wink:
Likewise if the leads will consider themselves gentlemen, there should be no need for wondering if the dancing is appropriate or not. Dance should be dance, not sex. I've had some very sensual dances with some very wonderful leads, but never got "mixed signals" about whether the dance was more than that or not. If I had a problem I'd ask directly or try to be subtle in letting the lead know I thought he'd crossed a line. If that didn't work, I'd cross him off of my list of people to dance with.
Life's too short to drink bad wine or waste dances on inconsiderate or creepy leaders! :sayno:
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. -Anatole France
I ain t no lady and I like to blues. Notice I said blues, not hook up. I think some folks fail to make that distinction and as someone who s in a long-term relationship, that s a problem. I understand that bluesing with someone can get pretty heated and I hate to get boys hopes up so I usually try to mention the SO if I think there s some confusion. The reactions I get to that reference are priceless I ve gotten guilty jumps with an abrupt end to the conversation and the guy turning tail and running but I ve also gotten no reaction whatsoever. There are guys out there (like excess) who re perfectly happy dancing close with someone who s taken but others won t, either because they don t want to waste their time or they re worried about my SO s reaction, I don t know.
And can say, however, that after the last exchange I went to with an official blues room, I m pretty turned-off to that idea. Basically, about twenty people went in there and humped all night. Every few songs two pairs would swap partners but that was it. I wanted to blues but I wasn t interested in, what looked suspiciously to me like, foreplay. I much prefera mild slow-down in the late night. I can still blues to the slower songs and regular dance etiquette applies so nobody monopolizes, or is monopolized, for several songs.
I've been keeping my mouth shut for awhile here, but had to post after an experience that I had recently. For those of you who know me, you know I like me some blues dancing. I like the way it's quiet, and you can focus on lead/follow and the music. And it can be really funny and zen and lovely and yeah, sensual, but sensual as in it sharpens the senses, not as in I want to take your clothes off and defile you. I both lead and follow, and it is my intention always that I am dancing, not prepping a hook-up- and I've assumed that anyone I am dancing with is going into it with the same intention. (Call me crazy!) So the other night I was dancing with someone I had just met and we had a couple dances when he brought it in bluesy, I was all for it, until I had this overwhelming claustrophobic feeling. He was actually pressing his entire body against mine in a sort of high-schoolish cop-a-feel-at-the-prom sort of way.
sigh I don't think I am adding anything new to this discussion, but basically I think genital/genital contact (even through clothes!) crosses a line. If you want me to dance close, I am happy to ride your leg. Just ask Eric-J.
And I am also happy to dance with Erica anytime and I don't care if she has a boyfriend.
If the late night DJ is bad, then people will get drousy, but a good blues/groove DJ will be able to keep the tempo low and the energy high. That is actually a really good test of a late night DJ...
Oh and Jesse is a frigging awesome late night/ any night DJ!!!
AMEN!
The distinction between blues and hook up is very important! I'm not saying I don't hook up... just that hookups should be off the floor. "What happens on the dance floor, stays on the dance floor."
I like your comment on the blues room. This is why I am not a big fan of the sparate rooms. Like I said before, an exchange has two to three dances a day/night... make them different.
One of my deffinitions of a Bad exchange is one that all the dances seem the same. (especially in regards to the music styles)
P.S. Erica: I have an increadably fond memory of a blues dance with you at the Barbara Morrison event last year in Denver to the song "Don't Touch Me." Thought is very fitting to your post. ;) You ROCK as a dancer, not to mention your awesome blues!
Thanks Tina! :) I think there are some women out there, apprehensive about posting their opinions for fear of getting beat up or chewed out by the trouble makers....
Erica! Your post ROCKS!!! These are the very stories I hear about late night happenings... And like I said time and time again.... Not that I would not go.... I just would not go into a room like that without a S.O..... I was very much looking foward to going with my now ex "LWS" ... Who was also an awesome blues dancer and even though we were "grinding" off the floor.... He didn't need to do so on the floor to get my attention. 8)
Also for the record... I have danced blues with Captain Morgan and I did not feel creeped out or impossed upon at all!!... He's an AWESOME blues leader. ...... And I'd do it again!! :P
Umm... check her location.. wrong Erica. You're talking about Princess5342, in Denver.
chortle
I think this is going to end up being one of those debates on which style is better... Dear God, what have I done?!?
umm.. it WAS a birthday jam, and my bikini shows more skin than my bra; not to mention those belly dancing showcases ive seen at exchanges and comps. im sure you run screaming from those, eh?
I've often wondered why some women would rather be seen in public in a bikini than their underwear when the bikini shows more usually than the underwear. Curious, but way off topic.
Wow. So having a birthday jam means you can hijack an event held at a fraternal lodge, strip your tops off and make the entire body of dancers watch you all get off? Have some courtesy, unless this is the sort of behavior you encourage at any public event, just because it's someone's birthday.
Belly dancing and 20s charleston performances are actually scheduled, yo. And even so, they often drag on and on and on.
Kalman
If the DJ is bad, it doesn't matter WHAT he's playing.
Regardless, you put an exchange formula that I think is too strict due to your specific preferences. I share most of the same musical tastes as you do, but I still feel the need and understand that 4-5 hours of slow tempo will put people to sleep unless you mix it up with some faster music to get people's blood flowing out of their genital areas and back to their other extremities.
http://g4tv.com/attackoftheshow
LOL... So says the queen of PDA.
Sorry, couldn't help it.
http://g4tv.com/attackoftheshow
so we have....
some blues is fun to watch, some blues is not. the quality of the dance is not determined by how it looks. one style of dance is about really small movements. it is boring to watch, but awsome to be in, and its not about humping and groping. its about leading and following in a very subtle way to the music.
lilieblue...i can not speak to the experience you had recently because i was obviously not involved, but i will use this as a time to say that people have diffrent comfort zones. more often than not incidents like the one you had are caused by a diffrence in the couples comfort zone, instead of something creepy. simply noting to your partner that you are uncomfortable with the closeness with that person is all it should take. if it then persists, well then that is something else. on the other side one should never assume that your partner will be comfortable dancing with you that close, even if that person does it with others.
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