Quoted from "Beckto"
It's futile, Emmysue.

Your mom was futile last night.

I have no idea what that means.

Sam,

Even though you had no obligation whatsoever to answer my questions or share that information about yourself on this thread, thanks for doing so - it's insightful.

Quoted from "apostle"
The traces of PDD-NOS (which I was diagnosed at age 3) typically disappear by adulthood.

To my understanding, that's true if the child receives early, rigorous, and consistent intervention from behavioral psychologists and speech & language pathologists. I know a guy in his 20s who was diagnosed with PDD-NOS as a young child and he still has the diagnosis. But, he's also lived in an impoverished, underfunded school system for most of his life and did not get the benefit of early intervention, as it sounds like you did (am I correct?) I often wonder if he'd be able to socialize more easily and hold down a steady job if he'd had early childhood intervention.

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That's why I end up taking the quizzes and got surprisingly low scores. Generally, I do not normally use the term "neurotypical" because it is a such a snobby term. However, I will unlikely to be living in a group home. Amid very different interests (e.g., dancing, non-sci-fi movies, sports) or characteristics that other ASD-diagnosed adults have, I opted against being on ASD forums such as Wrong Planet. plus during most of my childhood, I was placed in mainstream classes.

It sounds like you've danced the line most of your life between living as an ASD-diagnosed person and as a neurotypical. (I know you dislike the term but I will continue to use it for its succinctness.) Many people who have been diagnosed with high-functioning ASDs at some point in their lives choose the path you have chosen - to live as a neurotypical and not look back. It also sounds like you've thought about your choices and that they are intentional, not just denial.

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I tend to have better motor coordination than virtually all autistic/Aspie people, so if your are thinking I may be a bad dancer, I have better leading, posture and connection than you think I would be. I am also good at sports, especially soccer.

First of all, that was spoken like a true Aspie! :D I know you reject the notion that you fall into that category, but I couldn't resist making the comparison. I also find it interesting that, as someone who rejects the ASD label, you work so hard to convince us that you don't fit into that category.

Second, why would I think you're a bad dancer?

Third, there are plenty of people on the Autism spectrum who are awesome at sports and other physical activities. There are also plenty of people on the autism spectrum who are terrible at math and science. A person's proficiency level in any of these is not sufficient to diagnose or rule out ASD, which it sounds like you are trying to do for yourself.

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Thank you for offering an advice for me to see a licensed psychologist. At this time, I am reviewing of the behavior this year and looking at online sources to determine the disorder I may likely have, so I most likely see a professional in 2008. I have not been re-evaluated since I was 18.

That's great to hear. How do you review your behavior, with a journal? Have you ever considered identifying target behaviors that you would like to decrease, and having someone you trust track them? If I had to review my own behavior over the past year, I'd just give myself high marks for everything and get on with life, as I'm not an objective observer of my own behavior. I'd definitely need someone to track it for me.

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No, I was not seen as a predator and the fact I attended local dances only three times this year as of today. There was no proof of evidence of me being associated with creepiness by the HSDS, so I will likely return to the floor at the end of July.

It's good to know that you're not viewed as a predator by your local scene. But, just because I don't hear everything people say about me, doesn't mean they're not talking about me, and the same goes for you. Keep up your positive attitude, that will help you. But none of us can ever know everything people say behind our backs - that's just a fact about people and life.

Quoted from "Sam"

Quoted from "Emmysue4you"
Just to clarify, are you acknowledging that you have difficulty navigating and decoding the social world?

You may assume I do, but I deny it.

That's fair.

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The problem is I might not be able to adjust to the people of the local dance community. Dance halls are for mainly for dancing, not socializing. If you want to socialize, go to a bar or a restaurant. No, I'm not saying this because I may not able to communicate effectively.

That's the tricky thing about dances. Yes, most people show up primarily to dance, but their behavior is governed by social rules. People show up to church to worship, but it's not alright to sit too close to the stranger beside you. People go to the grocery store to shop, but it's not alright to scream when they're out of your favorite brand of yogurt. All of these activities are governed by social rules. In the dance scene, there are unwritten rules about:

<

ul>- when it's acceptable to ask someone to dance - the volume and tone of your voice when you ask someone to dance - how long it's acceptable to touch someone while not actually dancing - where and how to stand when you're not dancing - eye contact - proximity when talking and dancing - who it's acceptable to talk to and when - what are acceptable topics of conversation - the appropriate length of conversation[/list:u:6fd54f572a] ...and many others. And when someone breaks too many of the social rules that govern the behaviors above, suddenly the dance scene becomes a very difficult, unhappy place to hang out - both for the person who violated the rules and for those who experienced the violation.

Because you deny that you have difficulty navigating the social world, It' unfair for me to insist that you break the unwritten social rules of dancing. So why is there so much drama between you and your scene?

Quoted from "ShagBaby"
Maybe we need something like a "diagnose apostle" thread. Bear in mind, however, that remote diagnosis is a hazardous undertaking. We should bring in an expert like Bill Frist.

EVERY thread he posts in is a "diagnose apostelateoreo" thread. :crash: :crash: :crash: :crash:

Quoted from "Bigg_Al"

Quoted from "whipitgood"
Cop Rock!

Worst show ever. Best reference ever.

Cop Rock was misguided but it was an attempt at doing something "artistic". Actually I give the Worst-Show-Ever to a show that was on for I think 1 episode called "Where's Rodney". The setup was that the protagonist is an akward teenage boy who was a huge Rodney Dangerfield fan and one day he inexplicably develops a psychic/telekinetic ability to "summon" Rodney Dangerfield to his side. No, I am not making this up. --R

That is a totally natural solution for the problem, but it will creep some follows out, and not without reason.

Instead of watching the follow's feet/center of gravity, work on your ability to feel where her weight is through the connection.

Quoted from "ShagBaby"
OK, time to get this thread back on track. Recently I've been taking classes where the instructors have been teaching patterns that require the leader to lead the follow to perform nonstandard footwork patterns (i.e., back-rock after only one tripple, three tripples in a row, etc.) from open position. These patterns require me to pay close attention to my follow's frame and center of gravity while keeping a peripheral eye on her footwork. I have found that the best way for me to do this is to focus my eyes on my follow's, um, sternum. So, I'm wondering if other leads have similar focus issues, and if follows are willing to cut a lead some slack if he's leading interesting patterns and if the only "creepy" thing he does is stare at his follow's chest while he's dancing with her.

Just say to every follow you lead, "I SWEAR I'm not lookin at your [bleep!]. It's just how I dance..." It'll work like a charm.

And more fun!

Present.

Oh wait, I don't dance. Nevermind. ;)

Quoted from "ShagBaby"
OK, time to get this thread back on track. So, I'm wondering if other leads have similar focus issues, and if follows are willing to cut a lead some slack if he's leading interesting patterns and if the only "creepy" thing he does is stare at his follow's chest while he's dancing with her.

I'm a creepy lead. I always stare at my follow's and lead's chest. It's the only spot from which I can watch their center and see their entire body at the same time. I'm also creepy for other reasons, like bumping boobs w/ various body parts (my shoulder yesterday), and then giggling. And probably some of my moves are pretty creepy too. None of it is done w/ a creepy intention. I just get away with it as a mostly straight girl.

Or maybe not. Maybe the girls think I'm creepy anyway, but nobody tells me. That just shows the importance of letting your lead know if he's creeping you out.

You can't be a creepy lead, Phlurg - that would require you to actually lead, you remember, that thing you used to do months ago... :(

I am making it my mission on my next trip to the US to travel to Houston. I have to see the magnificence that is Apostle in the flesh, and bath in his warm glow.

Quoted from "Henry Hui Hui"
I am making it my mission on my next trip to the US to travel to Houston. I have to see the magnificence that is Apostle in the flesh, and bath in his warm glow.

Don't invite vampires into your house. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Don't shoot me, I am only the messenger.

I was looking for something else when I ran across this gem and figured it belonged here.

I guess when your Lindy gets creepy it morphs into the "Action Jackson."

It reads like an instructional video for would be creepy leads:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo25HoV6XOY

Quoted from "apostle"

Quoted from "Emmysue4you"
That's great to hear. How do you review your behavior, with a journal? Have you ever considered identifying target behaviors that you would like to decrease, and having someone you trust track them? If I had to review my own behavior over the past year, I'd just give myself high marks for everything and get on with life, as I'm not an objective observer of my own behavior. I'd definitely need someone to track it for me.

My parents will monitor my behavior before they will decide whether I will be re-evaluated by a professional soon.

Quoted from "Emmysue4you"
Because you deny that you have difficulty navigating the social world, it's unfair for me to insist that you break the unwritten social rules of dancing. So why is there so much drama between you and your scene?

Because every ordinary man in each scene seems to be targeted as creeps. There may be true creeps who are perverts who do wandering hands, indiscreet stares, stalking (such as waiting in front of the washroom for a potential partner to dance with), unwanted advances (asking for dates), men who circle the dance floor checking out the women (that's leering, just stay on the sidelines when you are not dancing) or other forms of lecherous behavior that is totally inappropriate. I do not want to known as Sam "Peeping" Thompson (pun intended). Plus there are are larger men who do faster dances that cause the woman to be bulldozed or dragged across the floor, which is like Terminator trying to keep up with Tinkerbell. A dance floor is pretty much like a stage. When I dance, I do not just dance like it's fun. I prefer to be dancing like I am in a competition or performance. That's why I add new challenging steps as I focus on the preforming arts aspect of dance. While talking while dancing is okay, I do not do that normally, because talking while may cause the lead/follow to lose focus on proper dance technique. Sure, I love being coupled up to dance because it has the feel of a romance, but it is not a romance. I never come to a venue, thinking it is such a "pick-up" joint. This thread is and has been sad and embarrassing. All of us need to Google "dance etiquette", keep reading the rules and you know what it means to be a creep - as I prepare to return to the local scene. And if the reception of my behavior is good, then I will likely dance nationally. Nuff said. 8)

Hi Sam. I don't have anything thought-provoking to say in response, but just wanted to encourage you to ask me a question about bass flute. I'm sure you can think of something to ask that nobody else has.