Dawne - The Jessie Bab[bleep!]of 2005?

TXJess has her own interweb stalker now, and it's freaking hilarious.

Quoted from "TXJess"

This is totally minor wank, but it's my very own wank and I am so utterly amused by it that I must share with all of you.

So, to amuse myself on my own blog, I have written a few posts about various children's TV shows from the 1980s. My most recent TV show post dealt with the illustrious alumni of Kids Incorporated, the precursor to KidzBop that featured kids singing entirely inappropriate songs for their age, complete with dream sequences, ugly 80's costuming and silly choreography.

This post has been up for awhile now, and everyone who reads my blog seemed to enjoy it...until Monday night, when I received the following (completely serious) comment on the blog:

You…ought to be shot.

If you’re going to bash somebody, be sure you get your facts straight! Riley wasn’t the sneaker inventor, Flip was.
You may think Renee’s nothing, but she’s a damn sight better than some jackass who blogs about a show and gets all the details wrong! And you call yourself a fan?!?!?!

Oh, and SPEAKING of getting everything wrong, nearly all of these commenters are dumbasses, too!
Kids Inc. was taped in CA, so no one in Florida has the right to do anything with the episodes. This is more than likely the moron who posted all over TvTome that DVD’s were “comming”.

Do any of you have a halfway decent thing to say about a single member of this show? If not, SHUT THE F*CK UP ALREADY!!


I kind of sat there for a minute, trying to discern if my sarcas-o-meter was off or if this person was for real. Unfortunately, when I looked up the domain name of the email she left on her comment (f_ckyou@imallwrite.com), I found that she was Dawne, the webmaster of www.imallwrite.com, devoted to none other than Kids Inc. and the band almost everyone forgot about once Fergie left--Wild Orchid! Not ONLY that, but she has a section dedicated to "Brain-dead KI bashers" and I am the ONLY entry. She's gonig to make sure I pay for what I've done!! I felt (almost) honored. I had my very own Internet troll! I promptly realized that this could be f_w fodder, but I'd have to see how it would play out.

I'd never had a troll of my very own, so I surfed around her site and LJ communities to see if I could figure out the proper care and feeding this troll would require. I also couldn't resist sharing the wank with some of my friends, who posted a few snarky comments on her GreatestJournal KI community. OH NOES! Of course, they were all promptly baleeted and replaced with her own namecalling and general crazy. Her communities are locked from non-friends and anon comments...Paranoia much? It looks like OMG she's *totally* shown me!! I'm heartbroken, y'all, really. Who AM I to call myself a fan? I should have known better. I am just going to go watch my Jem & The Holograms DVDs and cry.

Then I discover that she's already had a GREAT deal of Wild Orchid wank all on her own! She sounds a little TOO obsessed with one of the members of the band (the one nobody remembers)...I hope there are no identities, bunnies or husbands involved, because it sounds a little bit Single White Female, and a little bit Fatal Attraction. Eep!

This chick wanks in fandoms that I didn't even know existed! Did you guys know that there was a rabid Kids Inc. fandom that was armed with pitchforks and four-letter words if you got a tiny factoid wrong about their preciousss show? I guess you learn something new every day. It looks like she is an HP fan on Veritaserum, and I would be completely surprised if she's not a Harmonian. She's THAT crazy.


So this is, of course, frankly hilarious. We've been messing with this girl a little bit (she's really angry about hotlinking, so I starting posting image links from her site in all my posts yesterday, as did Marcelo), because how can you not take sport in taking the piss out of someone who says things like "I personally will not rest until every asshole who tries to make this show look bad by deliberately getting details wrong and leaving out the many, many Youth in Film awards and Emmy nominations has their Internet access removed and is bludgeoned to death with their keyboards!"

I guess poor Jess really got to her, since she posted this manifesto (profanity modifed by me so that you can get the point):

Quoted from "Crazy Obsessive Kids, Incorporated Fan"
F*ck you, people! F*ck you!
I am so sick and F*CKING TIRED of pathetic [bleep!]ing self-righteous losers who apparently have all the free time in the world to go to message boards/communities/websites of things that they hate, actually JOIN these f*cking places, and then have the balls to tell everyone off for having taste! "U r so dum, dis show is so ghei, blah, blah, blah..." F*CK YOU!
DO NOT link to my site on your filthy ass blog, or I will find out what shows you watch and bash the f*ck out of them!! Do you see me searching for all sorts of country music fansites and then telling my friends, "Cum see dese lozers, dey dont no dat [bleep!]ry suxors!!! 111!"

IF YOU DO NOT SHARE MY INTERESTS, STAY THE F*CK OFF OF MY WEBSITE, DON'T F*CKING TAKE MY GRAPHICS, STAY THE F*CK OUT OF MY COMMUNITIES, AND STAY THE F*CK OFF OF MY MESSAGE BOARD!!
Who the f*ck do you think you are, telling me what I can and cannot be a fan of? Your f*cking tv shows are the ones that suck! Just because you think something is lame doesn't make it lame! You don't have the power to decree something "unkewl!" F*CK YOU! I just might unban you from my journal just so you can see this f*cking entry! You're nothing but a pathetic little piece of [bleep!] who makes fun of others to make yourself feel better - but it doesn't work! You're a whore, and if you keep sending your gay ass friends to comment in my community, I will have you all permanently banned from both LiveJournal and GreatestJournal. Go back to f*cking high school, because in the real world, people have the right to like whatever the f*ck they damn well please, whether you like it or not! And I will! I'll comment all over your f*cking journal and gag your ass with it! Since when do you have the right to make fun of everyone who isn't you, and expect them to just curl up and die? F*CK YOU, F*CK YOUR TASTE IN TELEVISION SHOWS, GET THE F*CK AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I START POSTING ALL THE SONG LYRICS ONE AFTER ANOTHER! You are not the Cool Police. Anyone who makes fun of what other people like is a f*cking pathetic loser who is so insecure about their own likes that they try to make themselves feel better by ripping into others! You even suck at making fun of people, because you can't even get the f*cking details right! Frankly, I'm surprised that you even knew how to spell! People like you should not be allowed access to cable television. What do you watch, redneck porno movies? Drunk midget wrestling? Yes, I'm sure your viewing habits are so classy, much better than others! What a pathetic little waste of sperm you are. Someone should have rammed into the back of your daddy's pickup truck that night on the highway. Or maybe they did, and that's why you're so f*cked up now.

Oh, you think I'm fangirly, now, c*nt? You just wait! I will make you sorry you ever got Internet access. You do not f*ck with me.
Current Mood: GO F*CK YOURSELF!
Current Music: one of my 600 Kids Incorporated MP3's!


The more I think about this, the more that this chick has got to be made up by Frankyboy.[/u]

"Marcelo, sometimes, your cruelty is delicious." - Frankyboy
-
Want to help save the lives of homeless dogs and cats in Chicago? Support my attempt at running an 8K race - http://mattstratton.com/PAWS2010

 

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Maisie

 

Good morning Mugsy Malone. So Arceat and I were wondering why in the This thread is for Increeasing your post count thread you posted this.Because I right clicked on the picture and all these nasty things came up. It's so very rude and confusing. That person has quite a nerve.

Quote
This bitch - Jess, I guess her name is. Not only does she not have a clue what she's talking about, she bashed not one, but EVERY KI alum!! It's people like this that give fandoms a bad name. I will personally see to it that she is forced to remove the link to ki.us from her blog or whatever the hell she considers it.


Maisie

 

So Arcecat read the thing, and posted a picture of Mickey Mouse.


Mugsy Malone

 

This whole thing is a bigger trainwreck than Taradise. I want to be this chick for Halloween.

"Marcelo, sometimes, your cruelty is delicious." - Frankyboy
-
Want to help save the lives of homeless dogs and cats in Chicago? Support my attempt at running an 8K race - http://mattstratton.com/PAWS2010


toniwbusch

 

Quoted from "Crazy Obsessive Kids, Incorporated Fan"
What do you watch, redneck porno movies? Drunk midget wrestling?

How did she know?

(This is all 'effin hilarious. Thanks for the much-needed laugh.)

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.


Maisie

 

Oh well your friend jess has some lovely photos there on her site thing. And I just learned that Mario Lopez was on Kids, Incorporated? I had no idea. How very interesting.


Emmysue4you

 

This kinda reminds me of what would happen if some random non-dancer made uninformed jabs and insults about swing dancing in their blog. Then, the rabid fan would be one of us. And that person would become a laughingstock to some corner of cyberspace. And that person would be Marcelo.

"...a brilliant combination of foodie, cold war, vintage and biblical. If you replace cold war with band geek." -kimpossible


TXJess

 

If Arcecat really does start posting pictures of Mickey Mouse on this chick's sites, this will be just that much better for me.

Seriously, y'all, I cannot MAKE this stuff up. I hardly got any work done yesterday because I was too busy laughing my ass off.


SwingKid570

 

This is far funnier than any three dopey things Oprah does in a week.

The velocity of Spanish is that many tables do not have sadness...


frankyboy

 

TXJess I heart you, welcome to the club girl and damn good job. Now all that's left is for this wackjob chic to hack yehoodi.


TXJess

 

I am eagerly waiting for this chick to start in on Yehoodi. She wouldn't even know what hit her. COMEDY GOLD!


SwingKid570

 

Quote
What do you watch, redneck porno movies? Drunk midget wrestling?


Close- drunken, redneck midget-wrestler porn.

The velocity of Spanish is that many tables do not have sadness...


TXJess

 

Quoted from "SwingKid570"
Quote
What do you watch, redneck porno movies? Drunk midget wrestling?


Close- drunken, redneck midget-wrestler porn.


Mmm, that's SO hot.


SwingKid570

 

Quoted from "TXJess"
I am eagerly waiting for this chick to start in on Yehoodi. She wouldn't even know what hit her. COMEDY GOLD!


Unleash the hounds of hell upon her!

The velocity of Spanish is that many tables do not have sadness...


SwingKid570

 

You know, one could go for the Tom Cruise joke here, but that's soooo last month.

The velocity of Spanish is that many tables do not have sadness...


Mugsy Malone

 

Quoted from "SwingKid570"
You know, one could go for the Tom Cruise joke here, but that's soooo last month.


Quoted from "Marcelo, on Jess's blog"

Jess, Jess, Jess. you don t know the history of Kids Incorporated. I do. Jess, you re .you re glib.

"Marcelo, sometimes, your cruelty is delicious." - Frankyboy
-
Want to help save the lives of homeless dogs and cats in Chicago? Support my attempt at running an 8K race - http://mattstratton.com/PAWS2010


TXJess

 

I'm never one to turn down the Tom Cruise joke myself, so I was happy to see Marcelo take the proferred bait and run with it.


Maisie

 

Ok, Mr. Malone could you please give us a brief time line of how these events came about? If Txjess, a beloved Yehoodite is being attacked, then it is our good duty to call to arms. Any friend of Mouth, is a friend of mine. And that means Mugsy Malone. And any friend of a friend is a friend. So there you have it. If this girl does come over to Yehoodi we'll be ready for her. Oh and where is Arcecat?
I know nothing about this blog business. So what are the two main pages we should be looking at? I've been clicking on different things but I'm lost. And jess dear did you really make up facts that wer enot true? This is very interesting. I'm mean really it was a terrible show. And my big brother always made fun of it. I'm sure the stars themselves would rather forget this show altogether. I bet it is like a skelaton in the closet or something. This girl is wasting all her time and energy on something so silly, really.


arcecat

 

For some odd reason Maisie thinks I should add to this thread.

I wouldn't want to upset this person much...but that's just me.

....
I loved Kids Incorporated....really really really wanted to be on it.
...

Sorry not much for me to add here.


TXJess

 

Arcecat, don't feel bad. I loved that show too...WHEN I WAS A KID. I wanted to be on it until I figured out that it'd be far cooler to be on MTV.


Maisie

 

Ok, she'll be on the View this morning with Star and Barbara


arcecat

 

...seems like they did a "new " kids incorporated too.

Anyways..if this person is psycho probably best not to bug them.


SwingKid570

 

Quoted from "Maisie"
Ok, she'll be on the View this morning with Star and Barbara


Who? TXJess? Arcecat? Someone with such an enormous overbite they can eat the far edge of a slice of toast first?

Hint- Antecedants are your friend.

The velocity of Spanish is that many tables do not have sadness...


TXJess

 

Ahh, if only I was on The View this morning so I could vent my disdain upon Star Jones in PERSON.


Nikki Woo

 

Quoted from "Crazy Obsessive Kids, Incorporated Fan"
F ck you, people! F ck you!
I am so sick and F CKING TIRED of pathetic [bleep!] self-righteous losers who apparently have all the free time in the world to go to message boards/communities/websites of things that they hate, actually JOIN these f cking places, and then have the balls to tell everyone off for having taste! "U r so dum, dis show is so ghei, blah, blah, blah..." F CK YOU!
DO NOT link to my site on your filthy ass blog, or I will find out what shows you watch and bash the f ck out of them!! Do you see me searching for all sorts of country music fansites and then telling my friends, "Cum see dese lozers, dey dont no dat [bleep!] suxors!!! 111!"

IF YOU DO NOT SHARE MY INTERESTS, STAY THE F CK OFF OF MY WEBSITE, DON'T F CKING TAKE MY GRAPHICS, STAY THE F CK OUT OF MY COMMUNITIES, AND STAY THE F CK OFF OF MY MESSAGE BOARD!!
Who the f ck do you think you are, telling me what I can and cannot be a fan of? Your f cking tv shows are the ones that suck! Just because you think something is lame doesn't make it lame! You don't have the power to decree something "unkewl!" F CK YOU! I just might unban you from my journal just so you can see this f cking entry! You're nothing but a pathetic little piece of [bleep!] who makes fun of others to make yourself feel better - but it doesn't work! You're a whore, and if you keep sending your gay ass friends to comment in my community, I will have you all permanently banned from both LiveJournal and GreatestJournal. Go back to f cking high school, because in the real world, people have the right to like whatever the f ck they damn well please, whether you like it or not! And I will! I'll comment all over your f cking journal and gag your ass with it! Since when do you have the right to make fun of everyone who isn't you, and expect them to just curl up and die? F CK YOU, F CK YOUR TASTE IN TELEVISION SHOWS, GET THE F CK AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I START POSTING ALL THE SONG LYRICS ONE AFTER ANOTHER! You are not the Cool Police. Anyone who makes fun of what other people like is a f cking pathetic loser who is so insecure about their own likes that they try to make themselves feel better by ripping into others! You even suck at making fun of people, because you can't even get the f cking details right! Frankly, I'm surprised that you even knew how to spell! People like you should not be allowed access to cable television. What do you watch, redneck porno movies? Drunk midget wrestling? Yes, I'm sure your viewing habits are so classy, much better than others! What a pathetic little waste of sperm you are. Someone should have rammed into the back of your daddy's pickup truck that night on the highway. Or maybe they did, and that's why you're so f cked up now.

Oh, you think I'm fangirly, now, c nt? You just wait! I will make you sorry you ever got Internet access. You do not f ck with me.
Current Mood: GO F CK YOURSELF!
Current Music: one of my 600 Kids Incorporated MP3's!


Whats gonna be funny is when some poor 11 year old girl tries to make her little Fergie fansite and this pops up on it. I like how this crazy chick's anger at Jess has consumed her entire freakin life.


Shanabanana

 

Quoted from "Drooling Psycho Fangirl"
Who the f ck do you think you are, telling me what I can and cannot be a fan of?


Oh, the ironing is delicious. This from the chick who jumped on Jess' journal unprovoked to tell her off for disliking a show. You can't buy this kind of comedy.

It's time to up the meds...and to point her towards Yehoodi. Things are getting boring without Danno and PMO around.


TXJess

 

I'm trying to figure out how to get her to Yehoodi, Marcelo's LJ, and my boyfriend's blog, as well as mine and Mugsy's. I really want to see her up against Yehoodites en masse, because that would pretty much make my life complete.


Marcelo

 

Quoted from "Emmysue4you"
This kinda reminds me of what would happen if some random non-dancer made uninformed jabs and insults about swing dancing in their blog. Then, the rabid fan would be one of us. And that person would become a laughingstock to some corner of cyberspace. And that person would be Marcelo.


You're serious? You think -I- would actually DEFEND dancing fandom?



I nominate FoolsRun, who banned pinupgirl from his board for saying dancing was dead.


Flash

 

Just put a post on your website saying how much you enjoy Yehoodi, how drama free it is,how 'awful' you would feel if someone bashed it, and how any idiot that loves KI wouldn't understand.

Then sit back and watch the fireworks 8)


swinginjay

 

This is hilarious. I used to love that show. I actually was in love with Stacy (but to see her now makes me cringe...eeek).

My favorite part: "Anyone who makes fun of what other people like is a f cking pathetic loser who is so insecure about their own likes that they try to make themselves feel better by ripping into others!"

Man, I want to actually meet this chick and find out what she does. She made a reference to college in another post, but I'll bet cash she didn't graduate...who has time for college when you are the KI Police?

Read other stuff on her website if you want more laughs. It's actually kind of sad...people don't even get that obsessed with their own lives.

-j


toniwbusch

 

Quoted from "Crazy Obsessive Kids, Incorporated Fan"
Current Music: one of my 600 Kids Incorporated MP3's!

I really hope this is an exaggeration. On the other hand, I hope not.

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

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