OK, I'd like to whine a bit about a recent disappointing close encounter with a fellow Yehoodite. I was pretty excited because I'm quite enamored with this person's posts. In fact, as I was walking over to her, I was debating whether I should just ask for a dance or go for the gusto and ask for her hand in marriage. The exchange was very similair to this:
Me: "Would you like to dance?"
Her: "No."
Me, to self: "Well, I guess marriage is out of the question."
Me, to her: "Uuuh...Just 'no'?"
Her: "Maybe next song."
Me: "OK, cool." [proceeds to find another partner]
Now, having read this person's posts, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. One of the keys to her awesomeness is that she's so blunt and to the point. But, damn. Just, "No"? How about tacking on an, "I'm resting.", "this song sucks", "your shirt is dripping with sweat", or even "Dude your breath smells like ass!" All of which may very well may have been appropriate in this instance. But just, "No"?
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
Whaaaa. Just "whaaa."
Look, Yehoodites are people too. Sometimes the best answer to "Would you like to dance?" is a simple "No."
We post on the boards when we feel like it. We dance when we feel like it. Just because we post on the boards it doesn't mean that we have a beyond the ordinary social obligation to dance.
My back has been screwed up lately. I don't feel like explaining that to everyone who may want to dance with me, Yehoodite or not. 'No' works for me.
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
You never know what Yehoodites are going to be like when you meet them. One (not disappointing) interesting greeting was when I made Sinner's acquaintance at PDX last month.
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
Quoted from "Wombat" You never know what Yehoodites are going to be like when you meet them. One (not disappointing) interesting greeting was when I made Sinner's acquaintance at PDX last month.
"Oh, you're Wombat! I thought you'd be shorter."
I may never know what that means.
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
Quoted from "skadoo" Whaaaa. Just "whaaa."
Look, Yehoodites are people too. Sometimes the best answer to "Would you like to dance?" is a simple "No."
We post on the boards when we feel like it. We dance when we feel like it. Just because we post on the boards it doesn't mean that we have a beyond the ordinary social obligation to dance.
My back has been screwed up lately. I don't feel like explaining that to everyone who may want to dance with me, Yehoodite or not. 'No' works for me.
Fair enough. You're right, "No" is adequate and acceptable. While it's not as polite as I generally like to be, it's not exactly rude, either. And I never meant to imply any obligation based on forum participation.
I guess my disappointment stems from the incongruence between my expectations and reality. (Isn't that the definition or something?)
When meeting a complete stranger, I'm pretty much ready for anything. But after I read several hundred posts by someone, I guess I forget that they're still a complete stranger. I tricked myself into thinking I could know what to expect and set myself up.
Oh well, lesson learned. (PS, point scored for the "Just whaaa." Nice!)
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
Definately don't take it personally. My stomach was really screwed up last week so I had to deny many more dances than I ever have - tried to explain to some but it's tough.
Also, I had a similar experience (two different people) but the next event where I ran into the person they were happy and much more personable. Turns out one was really sick and just trying to stand up and the other got kicked hard and was pretty much done with dancing for the night - but I found out after the fact.
Then again, the first time I met Eff I couldn't walk straight for a week... :o
Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
I had a girl in Montreal who didnt know me, tell me "Non, I cannot. My shoes are...broken" She then danced with the next guy that asked her a minute later. There were less than 10 people there.
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
I was dancing with a woman once, and the song slowed down near the end, so I pulled her in close for some blues dancing, but she pushed me away. Then I looked down and saw that she didn't push me with her hands, she just had hush knockers is all. They were liked coiled springs...what's my point? I don't know.
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
Sometimes "no" really means "no - I don't like you" or "no - something about you creeps me out". Sometimes "no" with "I'm sitting this one out" can mean that. Some dancers are more picky than others and people will do what they wanna do.
The only thing you can "do" about it is to notice which dancers turn you down most often and figure out which ones do not intend to dance with you at all so you can avoid them. A good rule of thumb is to not ask the person to dance again that night (if it's a simple "no"), try again another night but if you get a simple "no" again, avoid asking that person to dance for a few weeks at least. A third "no" after that should be regarded as a permanent general refusal.
"A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having" - V
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
In the instance when something is ailing you, it gets to be really tiresome having to explain to every single person that asks you to dance, especially in one song.
I had an arm injury back in February, and it eventually reached the point where I didn't give a flat out "no" I just said "no, thanks" without explanation, because it was a long drawn out story if I had to tell everyone the same thing. And besides, at that point, I'd probably already told about 15 people and even then, those immediatley started to walk off as soon as I begain saying my arm was hurt and I couldn't dance, as if it were an excuse :dunno:
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
Quoted from "frankyboy" I was dancing with a woman once, and the song slowed down near the end, so I pulled her in close for some blues dancing, but she pushed me away. Then I looked down and saw that she didn't push me with her hands, she just had hush knockers is all. They were liked coiled springs...what's my point? I don't know.
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
Quoted from "Swifty" A good rule of thumb for me is to avoid meeting Yehoodites if at all possible.
Corollary: Don't ever reveal you're a Yehoodite, especially if the majority of your posts are vacuous attempts at sardonic humor. Unless, of course, that kind of thing turns them on... and they're hawt.
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
[paranoia]
I'm in Atlanta and showed up at the local dance last night. I'd just had two full days of driving, followed by long dinner with the family complete with Passover-required 4 glasses of wine, so I was not in top aerobic or artistic form. At all.
I declined one dance from a stranger, requested when I was already visibly slightly out of breath and sweaty. I looked for the asker later, but never did get around to fulfilling the IOU.
So, um, sorry if it made more of an impact than I realized. You should have introduced yourself! I love meeting yehoodites!
[/paranoia]
Ok, and if it wasn't me: You just can't take a one-time decline personally. Especially from a complete stranger. Even if after a while it isn't a stranger, and is no longer a one-time decline, you still can't take it personally. You'll go crazy. If someone doesn't want to dance with you, then there's not a lot to be done about it.
Also, you should really bear in mind that there may circumstances you're unaware of (injuries, drunkenness, asthma, recent breakup) that affect whether someone wants to dance with you or dance at all, that moment or that night. Whatever. Good job of rolling on to the next partner. That's the right reaction.
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
Quoted from "Racetrack" Sometimes "no" really means "no - I don't like you" or "no - something about you creeps me out". Sometimes "no" with "I'm sitting this one out" can mean that. Some dancers are more picky than others and people will do what they wanna do.
The only thing you can "do" about it is to notice which dancers turn you down most often and figure out which ones do not intend to dance with you at all so you can avoid them. A good rule of thumb is to not ask the person to dance again that night (if it's a simple "no"), try again another night but if you get a simple "no" again, avoid asking that person to dance for a few weeks at least. A third "no" after that should be regarded as a permanent general refusal.
One of my favorite partners (became much better than I but would dance with me 3 times a night) turned me down the first 3 times I asked her. I think she was uncomfortable dancing with anyone but her 6 friends back then. So don't give up on people too soon. Just decrease the frequency that you ask them.
I had another case where some one had turned me down past the point where I ever wanted to ask them again. I was standing next to her when this really dumb tune came on. There was no one else around but she was bopping up and down like she just had to dance. I was still determined not to ask her again but I did give her a little eye contact and sure enough she asked me. :)
Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006 (6 years ago)
Quoted from "slydacious"
Quoted from "Swifty" A good rule of thumb for me is to avoid meeting Yehoodites if at all possible.
Corollary: Don't ever reveal you're a Yehoodite, especially if the majority of your posts are vacuous attempts at sardonic humor. Unless, of course, that kind of thing turns them on... and they're hawt.
The post you quoted wasn't an attempt at humor. I don't deny that it may have been vacuous.
Most of the time when I meet a Yehoodite they've got some wild preconception of what I'll be like. Plus, I just really have nothing to say to someone that just walks up and pseudo-knows me. For the most part I really don't enjoy talking about what happens on Yehoodi in the real world.
Listen 24 hours a day! Weekly updated shows
Disappointing Yehoodite Encounters
OK, I'd like to whine a bit about a recent disappointing close encounter with a fellow Yehoodite. I was pretty excited because I'm quite enamored with this person's posts. In fact, as I was walking over to her, I was debating whether I should just ask for a dance or go for the gusto and ask for her hand in marriage. The exchange was very similair to this:
Me: "Would you like to dance?" Her: "No." Me, to self: "Well, I guess marriage is out of the question." Me, to her: "Uuuh...Just 'no'?" Her: "Maybe next song." Me: "OK, cool." [proceeds to find another partner]
Now, having read this person's posts, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. One of the keys to her awesomeness is that she's so blunt and to the point. But, damn. Just, "No"? How about tacking on an, "I'm resting.", "this song sucks", "your shirt is dripping with sweat", or even "Dude your breath smells like ass!" All of which may very well may have been appropriate in this instance. But just, "No"?
Just, damn.
Yehoodi Featured Topics
Related Topics
Page(s): 1 2 3 Next > (67 items total, 30 per page)
Awww... I would have said your breff smells like doo-doo. :)
You never know when you may catch someone off their game... That person may normally be really cool, but ya never know. Sorry about your experience.
Whaaaa. Just "whaaa."
Look, Yehoodites are people too. Sometimes the best answer to "Would you like to dance?" is a simple "No."
We post on the boards when we feel like it. We dance when we feel like it. Just because we post on the boards it doesn't mean that we have a beyond the ordinary social obligation to dance.
My back has been screwed up lately. I don't feel like explaining that to everyone who may want to dance with me, Yehoodite or not. 'No' works for me.
I met Beckto and she didn't put out. Lame.
You never know what Yehoodites are going to be like when you meet them. One (not disappointing) interesting greeting was when I made Sinner's acquaintance at PDX last month.
"Oh, you're Wombat! I thought you'd be shorter."
I may never know what that means.
Sinner is definitely one of the most interesting people I know. God, I love that girl.
Hopefully you weren't naked.
Martinis do not contain vodka. —Rachel Maddow
Fair enough. You're right, "No" is adequate and acceptable. While it's not as polite as I generally like to be, it's not exactly rude, either. And I never meant to imply any obligation based on forum participation.
I guess my disappointment stems from the incongruence between my expectations and reality. (Isn't that the definition or something?)
When meeting a complete stranger, I'm pretty much ready for anything. But after I read several hundred posts by someone, I guess I forget that they're still a complete stranger. I tricked myself into thinking I could know what to expect and set myself up.
Oh well, lesson learned. (PS, point scored for the "Just whaaa." Nice!)
You didn't have twenty bucks on you?
The velocity of Spanish is that many tables do not have sadness...
Personally I think appending some version of thanks always improves it
Grow some hair.
Definately don't take it personally. My stomach was really screwed up last week so I had to deny many more dances than I ever have - tried to explain to some but it's tough.
Also, I had a similar experience (two different people) but the next event where I ran into the person they were happy and much more personable. Turns out one was really sick and just trying to stand up and the other got kicked hard and was pretty much done with dancing for the night - but I found out after the fact.
Then again, the first time I met Eff I couldn't walk straight for a week... :o
Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?
You're a dirty bird. BOTH OF YOU!
(Some how I think that's hawt...)
You should have used protection...
I had a girl in Montreal who didnt know me, tell me "Non, I cannot. My shoes are...broken" She then danced with the next guy that asked her a minute later. There were less than 10 people there.
I was dancing with a woman once, and the song slowed down near the end, so I pulled her in close for some blues dancing, but she pushed me away. Then I looked down and saw that she didn't push me with her hands, she just had hush knockers is all. They were liked coiled springs...what's my point? I don't know.
Sometimes "no" really means "no - I don't like you" or "no - something about you creeps me out". Sometimes "no" with "I'm sitting this one out" can mean that. Some dancers are more picky than others and people will do what they wanna do.
The only thing you can "do" about it is to notice which dancers turn you down most often and figure out which ones do not intend to dance with you at all so you can avoid them. A good rule of thumb is to not ask the person to dance again that night (if it's a simple "no"), try again another night but if you get a simple "no" again, avoid asking that person to dance for a few weeks at least. A third "no" after that should be regarded as a permanent general refusal.
"A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having" - V
A good rule of thumb for me is to avoid meeting Yehoodites if at all possible.
Cause they never put out...
Respect the power of "No". There's an old thread about that somewhere.
Maybe it's connected to the hands in your pance.
Martinis do not contain vodka. —Rachel Maddow
I thought maybe I was drunk.
Kalman
In the instance when something is ailing you, it gets to be really tiresome having to explain to every single person that asks you to dance, especially in one song.
I had an arm injury back in February, and it eventually reached the point where I didn't give a flat out "no" I just said "no, thanks" without explanation, because it was a long drawn out story if I had to tell everyone the same thing. And besides, at that point, I'd probably already told about 15 people and even then, those immediatley started to walk off as soon as I begain saying my arm was hurt and I couldn't dance, as if it were an excuse :dunno:
I felt (that you had) a point that night, Fboy.
Corollary: Don't ever reveal you're a Yehoodite, especially if the majority of your posts are vacuous attempts at sardonic humor. Unless, of course, that kind of thing turns them on... and they're hawt.
[paranoia]
I'm in Atlanta and showed up at the local dance last night. I'd just had two full days of driving, followed by long dinner with the family complete with Passover-required 4 glasses of wine, so I was not in top aerobic or artistic form. At all.
I declined one dance from a stranger, requested when I was already visibly slightly out of breath and sweaty. I looked for the asker later, but never did get around to fulfilling the IOU.
So, um, sorry if it made more of an impact than I realized. You should have introduced yourself! I love meeting yehoodites! [/paranoia]
Ok, and if it wasn't me: You just can't take a one-time decline personally. Especially from a complete stranger. Even if after a while it isn't a stranger, and is no longer a one-time decline, you still can't take it personally. You'll go crazy. If someone doesn't want to dance with you, then there's not a lot to be done about it.
Also, you should really bear in mind that there may circumstances you're unaware of (injuries, drunkenness, asthma, recent breakup) that affect whether someone wants to dance with you or dance at all, that moment or that night. Whatever. Good job of rolling on to the next partner. That's the right reaction.
One of my favorite partners (became much better than I but would dance with me 3 times a night) turned me down the first 3 times I asked her. I think she was uncomfortable dancing with anyone but her 6 friends back then. So don't give up on people too soon. Just decrease the frequency that you ask them. I had another case where some one had turned me down past the point where I ever wanted to ask them again. I was standing next to her when this really dumb tune came on. There was no one else around but she was bopping up and down like she just had to dance. I was still determined not to ask her again but I did give her a little eye contact and sure enough she asked me. :)
Just remember the most important life lesson: it's not about you.
The post you quoted wasn't an attempt at humor. I don't deny that it may have been vacuous.
Most of the time when I meet a Yehoodite they've got some wild preconception of what I'll be like. Plus, I just really have nothing to say to someone that just walks up and pseudo-knows me. For the most part I really don't enjoy talking about what happens on Yehoodi in the real world.
A-Mudder-Fuggin-Men!
I try to disappoint every Yehoodite I meet, you know, to keep their expectations low.
Page(s): 1 2 3 Next > (67 items total, 30 per page)
BBCode is no longer supported. Use Markdown instead: